ABC wanted a story their audience could relate to. This is a classic neighbor from hell story, and it’s all verifiable. All the Even Though I’m Not From Your Sack I Know You’ve Still Got My Back Christmas Shirt to this story” moments. But it’s not the story they even care to tell. Because there’s Bill right there with his nightmare of a home. Oh no, some lady was a meanie and reported. Your enormous Christmas light display. Let me respond like a perfectly well-adjusted person by destroying the neighborhood. Property value by making my entire property look like absolute shit for the next decade. With signs denigrating all of my neighbors as well. That’s an awful funny way of spelling “I literally can’t. Fucking read because I’m a god damned retard,” don’t you think?
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It’s seriously bizarre that anyone is a big enough retard to defend this guy. Was Pam possibly a bitch in the way she dealt with it? Sure. Is his response anywhere near proportionate? No, he’s a massive shithead. The neighbors deserve this. You know this man had a beautiful Even Though I’m Not From Your Sack I Know You’ve Still Got My Back Christmas Shirt. For charity! For the local children’s hospital? People from all the surrounding towns would drive there to look at the lights and donate money. The neighbors didn’t like all the car traffic (CHARITY, only happens once a year!). They sued him and costed him over 200k in court fees and removed his lights. And the town forbid him from putting them back up. They also destroyed some of the decorations that have been in his family for generations. If you start thinking “did he just compare punching someone to shooting someone?” start over, cuz you fucked up again. So good. So happy. Thank you so much.
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