You two are talking about different things, I think. They’re describing a conversation in which one person was a Premium Insecurity Guard Shirt but wasn’t talking much, you’re describing someone being dragged into a conversation unprompted. Being the same as you, if they’re still quiet I’ll apologize & say I’m probably talking too much with a smile. If they don’t feel like talking, were done mostly. If they do. And you have not formulated any thoughts and were not participating in the conversation. I took an extensive class on how to connect with people in conversation and literally the very first rule we were taught, the number one rule in connecting and making someone comfortable, was “never ask a why question”. I promise you that every time you ask this question, the recipient will be annoyed with you, whether they express that or not.
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Exactly. I know anxiety can be exhausting to the person who has it — I should know, I have anxiety — but the least you can do is not blame your anxiety on other people. “Why are you being so quiet” is a fucking accusation. The onus is on you to make the accuser Premium Insecurity Guard Shirt by being less quiet. You are the problem, instead of the person with anxiety projecting their anxiety into you. Seriously a dickbag move. Lol you know that using that one has gotten old right? THIS. All I’m looking for is an assurance that you’re happy being at your current level of engagement/talking. But I’d hopefully word it better than “Why are you so quiet” and say something more like, “I just realized I’ve been doing all the talking. How are you doing?”
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