Hide in a communications manhole, it’s a big concrete box underground. Or the storm drain system. A manhole can be dangerous Official Nurse Merry Christmas Shirt, rats, snakes scorpions, etc. Still better than a nuclear blast through. MOAB and FOAB and make sure his history isn’t affecting his social life with other bombs. I’d even check in with his uncle, the Fat Man, Grandpa, Castle Bravo, and his brother, the little boy. Maybe with his Friends too, and see how things are going in school. Prepare for fallout only if the winds come just right, and be pretty much just fine. The largest bomb the US ever tested (Castle Bravo at 15 Megatons), had a light damage radius of under 20 miles. Light damage is broken windows… Moderate damage where some residential buildings may collapse is about 7 miles.
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Direct gamma-ray death at less than a two-mile radius for 15% dead within a month. Don’t really need to hide, nuclear blasts are notoriously bad at hiding and seek. They did tons of testing on it. If you’re underground Official Nurse Merry Christmas Shirt blast to not level your house, the radiation isn’t going to straight up kill ya. If you’re more than a couple of miles from the epicenter, and you get inside and stay inside, you will likely be fine. Especially with ICBM’s or terror attacks which will be pretty low yield. For example, if a nuke from the current arsenal in North Korean ICBMs hit the town 15 minutes away, I could watch it, leisurely wander inside. Plus you get to pick what kind of shadow you leave behind. Thoughtful? Physically impossible and good fodder for cryptid/alien conspiracy theorists? You’ve got 30 minutes to plan. As close to the nuke blast radius as possible. Better to be nothing but a shadow on the ground in. One instant than to survive a few weeks dying of radiation poisoning. So good. So happy. Thank you so much.
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