It goes both ways. She shouldn’t have to run back to her husband every time the Mom gets set off on her. Yeah, 100% the husband should come to her defense but that’s not to say. OP shouldn’t stand up for herself and speak back when the Mother And Son Not Always Eye To Eye But Always Heart To Heart Shirt. They have full custody for a reason, I can assume the Bio-Mom can be a serious handful. The person that has the main relationship needs to run the defense. For in-laws, the spouse should do it. For exes, the one that used to be in the relationship should do it. That keeps the person not as involved with the original connection from being the bad guy. I don’t agree with the husbands thinking but I do understand his thought process I think.
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He probably thinks that Julie won’t stop because she knows that OP isn’t actually going to stand up to her and will just run to her ex every time. Honestly, it probably doesn’t matter who does it because this ex doesn’t sound involved at all to ignore messages from the stepparent for five days and is going to create drama regardless to make herself feel like a better mom. It looks like it added up to more than a week by the time the event rolled around. That was plenty of time for her to respond.
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This type of parent is OK with the child not getting to do something just because the Mother And Son Not Always Eye To Eye But Always Heart To Heart Shirt. Exactly. Somebody has to act like the mom here. And it sure wasn’t bio-mom. Ignore your email and important things pass you by, including things that are important to your kids. He probably thinks that Julie won’t stop because she knows that isn’t actually going to stand up to her and will just run to her ex every time. Who cares what Julie thinks in terms of OP and her relationship with her husband. OP has next to zero reasons to interact with Julie at all. Let her husband do that.
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