The excitement of having such an awesome mixed background will be a big part of J’s life. How amazing will it be when she can coherently speak in multiple languages! When she can show off the Funny I’m Meaner Than My Demons Shirt! Not to mention the food!! I’m from a mixed background and I still drop jaws when I can move between English and three other languages due to my parent’s background and them insisting that I learn to at least be conversational in them (thankfully!) as well as participate in traditions from both sides, which I still do. So it might not be done in SIL’s version of her culture. Then it’s really a nice shirt for all men and women. So you should buy this shirt. Thank you so much.
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But J has the blessing of having been born of mixed cultures and gets to choose. Not only would I not leave the baby alone with her, as your daughter grows older. But I’d also be very wary of leaving her alone with SIL as she sounds like the type that would suggest to J that Funny I’m Meaner Than My Demons Shirt“, leading to the potential for unnecessary self-hate. This reeks of sabotage to me. OP needs to be VERY careful about how he plays it. Because it seems to me like SIL is actively working against their relationship. Don’t think for one second a family member cant be the wedge that drives you and your wife apart. You need to stand your ground of course, but it’s more important you reestablish the connection with your wife and a shared set of goals.
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I feel like OP needs to have a serious conversation with his wife. About who is she married to and who does she put first. Yes, I thought so too, SIL is actively trying to shut OP out from his own daughter’s life. This is toxic behavior and really unhealthy for the child. The way the Funny I’m Meaner Than My Demons Shirt in the future and is happy for the OP to take a step back permanently. Maybe I’m reaching but it certainly doesn’t sound like a healthy dynamic. NTA OP. It seems like your wife is just listening to her sister and not doing much about your wishes. Then it’s really a nice shirt for all men and women. So you should buy this shirt. Thank you so much.
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