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It reads very well but it’s so anti-climactic, relative to the dangerous scene you eloquently lead on with. You went from sounding like grape street crips to an alcoholic neighborhood watch crew… you definitely have a great taste for writing though. Nobody here wanted your story to be any shorter at all. Every single word Chihuahua Halloween Piss Me Of I Will Slap You So Hard Even Google Won’t Be Able To Find You Shirt, vibrant picture. You really should consider writing something. Cause the story you just told was amazing to read. I hope the kid’s doing good now. Dude, that was amazing writing!! It was SO tense and well written. I also recommend you try out writing.

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I can actually kind of visualize it. It’s very hard for me to visualize things but your words helped me visualize it. Mostly I visualized the time of day, the tension in the air and that poor girl being struck. The details may be different. But that is what has always come back to me after all these years. It was that Chihuahua Halloween Piss Me Of I Will Slap You So Hard Even Google Won’t Be Able To Find You Shirts, there is something wrong here. I agree. Hard subject, great descriptive flow. You are talented. I hope you share more stories. And thanks for defending that child. I’ll bet she’s never forgotten people coming to her defense. If you haven’t read it, I recommend reading ‘outsiders’. Your writing reminds me of this book. One of my favorites. I agree, I’m awful at putting stories into words, but this is just a great piece of writing.

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