I can’t believe I actually used to believe this shit, and love doing it. In hindsight, it’s so obviously fake and made up. How I ever Awesome Horses Ho Ho Ho Santa Merry Christmas Shirt the only real one, and all the others were fake, is beyond me. So yes, in a sense I also hate it, but I also think of myself in their situation and I know how easy it is to be stuck in it and not thinking about it. I don’t blame people who still have faith. So I constantly regret that I lost my childhood and my 20s to that cult. I went back to school at 30. So I have an education, but I have no real career potential. Because I spent my experience-earning years doing church activities and “waiting for God’s plan” instead of getting out into the world.
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I’ve lived my 30s like they were my 20s, but now I feel my 40s creeping up without that 30s buffer decade, and sometimes I really wish for a redo without Christianity ruining my life. If Christianity stuck to the Awesome Horses Ho Ho Ho Santa Merry Christmas Shirts when I was growing up–helping the poor, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, sheltering the homeless, etc–it wouldn’t be so bad. But they’ve practically all become greedy, hateful, and bigoted, continually usurp power to oppress others. While claiming they are the ones who are oppressed. And twist their scripture in insidious ways to justify their behavior. It’s disgusting. Of course, many Christians do choose to be better, and I’m glad they exist. But they’re not the ones any of us talk about when we talk about hating Christianity, are they? Don’t let your past in the abusive cult rob you of your future.
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